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Hedonic Adaptation? Being Happi-er Is Not To Get Used To Being Happy!

Do we really want or desire happiness? At the first glance, this question seems contra-intuitive and meaningless to ask as we assume that happiness is what we want and desire the uttermost. According to Lacan, our fantasies have to be unrealistic. Because the moment, the second that you get what you seek, you don’t, you can’t want it anymore. In order to continue to exist, desire must have its objects perpetually absent. It is not the “it” that you want, it is the fantasy of “it”. So, desire usually supports crazy fantasies… According to Pascal, we are only truly happy when daydreaming about future happiness. Meaning to say, ‘the hunt is sweeter than the kill’. Or, be careful what you wish for, not because you will get it…but because you are doomed not to want it once you do. So the lesson of Lacan is: Living by your wants will…

A Motivational Guide To Therapy • Canwillbebetter™

A Motivational Guide To Therapy ARE YOU FEELING CONFLICTED OR RELUCTANT ABOUT TRYING THERAPY WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST? At times, people seek a psychologist because they yearn for something more, something different, something unknown. This cultivation of unfulfilled desires can be an intense and overwhelming experience, often associated by a feeling of fear, reluctance and resistance. In all these cases, seeing a psychologist can be an experience that compels our strengths and stimulates demands on us that we in fact can handle, endure, solve, and even learn to love. These small steps of successes are big. When you know more, you not only do better, you live better. – Krisztina Lurås Numerous studies have now found and well documented that psychotherapy is an effective way to help people make positive changes in their lives. To create change and change processes that will last over time is often the ultimate goal of…

Happiness Or Meaningfulness?

Check this very interesting article by Clifton B. Parker which shortly describes a project carried out at the University of Stanford on the key differences between lives of happiness and meaningfulness. “While lives of meaningfulness and happiness overlap, they are distinctly different, according to Stanford research. In a study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, Jennifer Aaker of Stanford Graduate School of Business, along with colleagues, found answers about life in how people spend their time and what experiences they cultivate. “Happiness was linked to being a taker rather than a giver, whereas meaningfulness went with being a giver rather than a taker,” Aaker said. The researchers surveyed 397 people over a month-long period, examining whether people thought their lives were meaningful or happy, as well as their choices, beliefs and values. They found five key differences between meaningfulness and happiness: • Getting what you want and need: While…

The Richest Human Possibility – Martin Heidegger • Canwillbebetter™

The Richest Human Possibility – Martin Heidegger “Why is love beyond all measure of other human possibilities so rich and such a sweet burden for the one who has been struck by it? Because we change ourselves into that which we love, and yet remain ourselves. Then we would like to thank the beloved, but find nothing that would do it adequately. We can only be thankful to ourselves. Love transforms gratitude into faithfulness to ourselves and into an unconditional faith in the Other. Thus love steadily expands its most intimate secret. Closeness here is existence in the greatest distance from the other- the distance that allows nothing to dissolve – but rather presents the “thou” in the transparent, but “incomprehensible” revelation of the “just there”. That the presence of the other breaks into our own life – this is what no feeling can fully encompass. Human fate gives itself…

It’s Not Always Black Or White – Book Published By Krisztina Lurås

It’s not always black or white All the staff warmly congratulates Lurås for the launch of her new book: It’s not always black or white Lambert Academic Publishing, 2013. The book addresses the complex theme of the psychology of reconciliation, starting from an empirical study carried out by Psykolog Lurås in South-Africa. The book is already  available through www.waterstones.com.  It’s not always black or white’ : An explorative study on the psychology of reconciliation, based on South African experiences SUMMARY The purpose of this empirical study is to explore the meaning(s) of reconciliation in the aftermath of the South-African Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s work. Based on informants’ accounts, the aim was to achieve an understanding of the ‘phenomenon’ of reconciliation in context, without excluding the possibility that these experiences also might contribute to our understanding of survivors’ experiences and understandings of the meaning of reconciliation, in similar situations but different…

To Love Or Not To Love, That Is The Question…

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Woe To Him Who Doesn’T Know How To Wear His Mask, Be He King Or Pope!

Remember who you are? One of our greatest fears is not to be accepted by others for who we are. Even greater is the fear to accept ourselves for ‘all that, that we truly are, both our worst and best parts equally’. How much truth can (or should) we carry on our shoulders about ourselves? Only if you are selfish enough to care how you feel, you can bear the fear of self-acceptance and the risk of self-judgment. Selfish enough to be loyal to your emotions. Selfish enough to not surrender to the ‘stranger behind the wall’. Selfish enough to surrender to yourself. Selfish enough to not be loyal to your masks, façades, appearances, personas, truths. Rather be self-full than self-less, it serves you well. What if you possess every trait that you see in others, both ‘good and bad’? And not only that, what if exactly these bad or…

Psychology of reconciliation: Scholarship for Psykolog Lurås

Psykolog Krisztina Lurås has been awarded with a prestigious scholarship by LEVE-interfaculty research area on livelihoods in developing countries at University of Oslo. The scholarship is meant to support a research on psychology of reconciliation which will be carried out the next months by Psykolog Lurås. The research will then be published in an international scientific journal. All the staff of Psykologen i Oslo congratulates Krisztina for this remarkable achievement, aware that the scientific value of this work will soon enrich the quality of our psychological services.