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A Motivational Guide To Therapy

ARE YOU FEELING CONFLICTED OR RELUCTANT ABOUT TRYING THERAPY WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST?

At times, people seek a psychologist because they yearn for something more, something different, something unknown. This cultivation of unfulfilled desires can be an intense and overwhelming experience, often associated by a feeling of fear, reluctance and resistance. In all these cases, seeing a psychologist can be an experience that compels our strengths and stimulates demands on us that we in fact can handle, endure, solve, and even learn to love. These small steps of successes are big.

When you know more, you not only do better, you live better. – Krisztina Lurås

Numerous studies have now found and well documented that psychotherapy is an effective way to help people make positive changes in their lives. To create change and change processes that will last over time is often the ultimate goal of therapy.

THE MOST IMPORTANT SINGLE INVESTMENT WE CAN EVER DO

A motivational guide to therapy.

To work on ourselves might just be the most important single investment we can ever do- not only for ourselves but for our loved ones, the world and ultimately even… humanity. It is never too late to begin to invest in ourselves, in fact, it is the task we should never neglect. However, so many of us do exactly that. We lose track of who we truly are, we get lost in the past, go astray in the present without cultivating the vision for the future. The problem is that in order to know where we are going, we need to know where we are and to some extent, where we have been…

Being is easier then becoming

The only constant thing in life is change. And change isn’t easy, but it is possible, as a process. Whether we welcome it or not, we somehow have to find a way to keep up with it. We resist change, but fear of the unknown can result in clinging to status quo behaviors—no matter how bad they are. One of the first steps toward contacting a psychologist starts with acknowledging this, that we could do better or could want to do better!

When you know better, you most likely will do better. So never hold your self-hostage to your past mistakes, failures or bad choices. You probably didn´t know better, and that is ok

WHY SOMEONE WANTS TO CONTACT A PSYCHOLOGIST

A motivational guide to therapy.

There may be several reasons why someone wants to contact a psychologist. Seeing a psychologist is often associated with ‘being sick’ or ‘weak’.  In truth, we will never show greater courage than in those situations when we embrace our vulnerability. To take ownership of our own vulnerability is what defines the ‘humane’ side of us and makes relationships, interconnectedness and even a sense of belonging to others possible.

WHY THERAPY?

Many of us seek therapy because we want to function at our best and be our most authentic and true self. Many of us go through periods of feeling down and depressed, suddenly feeling anxious about things that didn´t even bother us before. Even more of us experience stress and burnout without understanding what is happening to us, understandably a frightening experience. Some want to evolve and work towards greater personal growth, unleash untapped potentials and resilience. For some, the motivation to see a psychologist lies in a special worry,  a problem, an ongoing conflict, a difficult situation- while for others it could be a general feeling that life is not satisfying at all, a feeling not so uncommon is that ‘life was not supposed to be like it is’. At other times, people seek a psychologist because they yearn for something more, something different, something unknown. This cultivation of unfulfilled desires can be an intense and overwhelming experience, often associated by a feeling of fear, reluctance, and resistance. In all these cases, seeing a psychologist can be an experience that compels our strengths and stimulates demands on us that we can handle, endure, solve, and even learn to love.

Therapy seeks to create a safe but challenging environment where we are encouraged to let go of dysfunctional thoughts, outdated strategies, and bad habits. Sometimes, certain patterns of thoughts and behaviors might have served a function in the past, but do not work so well anymore in the present. In order to change these patterns, we often need further insights and reconditioning ‘positive‘ experiences. Partly this happens through a process where we can experience thoughts and feelings that we may have avoided or been unsure of. Therapy is not something that is done to us as ‘passive passengers’. On the contrary, it is a full engagement, a joint venture as much as a professional collaboration- a process not a quick-fix!

IN THERAPY ONE IS NOT LEFT ALONE

A motivational guide to therapy.

In therapy, the client is never left alone. The psychologist’s role is amongst others to stimulate. To inspire, challenge and assist to sort out thoughts and experiences that can be difficult to sort out by the client himself. Common to all people is that thoughts and behavioral patterns may have made us blind to how we perceive, think about and construct our world- and also blind to how we socialize with others. Many couples wish to learn how to communicate better and to get the spark back into their relationship again. Also, some things of intimate character are often not so easy to talk about and we need help from a third party. In many cases, a psychologist might be the right professional- being neutral and objective- to assist people in dealing with these sensitive and confidential issues. We can ensure the strictest confidentiality each and every step on the way.

Therapy is not something that is done to us as ‘passive passengers’. On the contrary, it is a full engagement, a joint venture as much as a professional collaboration- a process, not a quick-fix!

Getting started is easy!

We offer free, phone or online face-to-face consultations with the psychologist to ensure that we are the right fit for you

Book your session online now. You can find more information about rates here. Or, if you have any questions feel free to get in touch.

A Motivational Guide To Therapy • Canwillbebetter™

CALLING A PSYCHOLOGIST FOR THE FIRST TIME?

We know that even a phone call may be difficult for you at times. Just remember that the psychologist is there for you, not the other way round. Our psychologists and staff are used to people being nervous about making that call. We know how to sensitively handle your concerns. We are not going to make you feel silly about any questions you have. Whether it’s about our clinic or the psychologist treatment approach. We will be pleased and happy when you contact us. This is what we have chosen to do as our profession. To help and support!

If you have a fear of talking on the phone, you’re not alone.

If it feels too much, you’re very welcome to break the ice with an email or chat with us here at Canwillbebetter™

Want to learn more about Anxietyor Telephone phobia?

Anxiety is perhaps the most common reason people seek therapy.

To help you on your way, Here are som tips:

Psychologist Krisztina Lurås

Psychologist Krisztina Lurås has a unique ability to see and truly understand people. This leads one to be completely comfortable and feeling free to be yourself, which in turn allows for tremendous progress. One can feel that she expresses empathy in the situation and want your best on a human level.

 

CALLING A PSYCHOLOGIST FOR THE FIRST TIME? • Canwillbebetter™ • END

Do we really want or desire happiness? At the first glance, this question seems contra-intuitive and meaningless to ask as we assume that happiness is what we want and desire the uttermost. According to Lacan, our fantasies have to be unrealistic. Because the moment, the second that you get what you seek, you don’t, you can’t want it anymore.

In order to continue to exist, desire must have its objects perpetually absent. It is not the “it” that you want, it is the fantasy of “it”. So, desire usually supports crazy fantasies…

According to Pascal, we are only truly happy when daydreaming about future happiness. Meaning to say, ‘the hunt is sweeter than the kill’. Or, be careful what you wish for, not because you will get it…but because you are doomed not to want it once you do.

So the lesson of Lacan is: Living by your wants will never make you happy. The scientific word for this phenomenon is “Hedonic adaptation”: you quickly get used to better circumstances (your ‘perfect’ partner, your new job and promotion, etc…), losing the capacity to enjoy them.
Recent research points to four strategies that can help us not getting used to it, our perceived happiness:

1. GIVE IT UP AND REVIRGINIZE YOURSELF
Jordi Quoidbach, one of a recent study in Social, Psychological, and Personality Science, recommends a ‘temporary-deprivation strategy, f example committing yourself going without your favorite food or activity (shopping) for a few weeks’.
What you get: this will help you to savor and appreciate it more when you have it and you will be way more grateful for it than before leading to greater happiness!

2. REVISIT YOUR LIFE without what you think you desire and for the brave, going one step further: Try living as you did before having all your desires fulfilled! Research has shown that we tend to take things and people around us for granted. Meaning to say, we quickly adapt to the ‘new norms’ and launch new rockets of desires just as quick… Because we take things for granted: Try to picture your life without an improvement!!! In her book, The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky advises: Try living as you did when you were a starving and poor student, going without ALL your electronid gadgets, without phoning your best friend, without indulging in all your comfortable activities. Your reward: You will learn to appreciate you, your life and your good fortune all the more!

3. TAKE A BREAK- INTRODUCE INTERVAL THINKING
In order not to get used to your happiness or adjust to quick to something good, by interrupting a pleasurable activity, even for a minute or so, will make it more enjoyable!
This applies to everything from massages to TV-shows…. Even time-off! Hot tip: Try multiple short trips rather than one long, suggests Quoidbach. Your reward: You will hold on to that happy feeling longer and perceive a much greater sense of happiness than without taking breaks! You will now be in a lower risk of adapting to your happiness!

4. RELISH AMATEUR STATUS- Don’t be an expert of anything! New research indicates that if you consider yourself an expert of anything-from gourmet food to traveling- you will savor it less! So, don’t take yourself to seriously, take a chill-pill  You will be rewarded with a burst of happiness before you know it…

So, now you don’t have to try to be happier, but you can be Happy

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

*see for the theme of hedonic adaptetion also Psychology Today, December 2013